Ranma and the Faces of Evil
by VGS2
Summary: After being told that destiny has plans for him, Ranma sets out on an epic quest to throw a book at Kuno. Why? 'Cos. Also, Akane sets out to save her father (In law) from the forces of Kuno, despite the fact that no one can stand the fecker. Rated M for Marowak
1. Squadala!

Ranma was bored. Insanely bored. Hell, he hadn't been so bored in his life!

He was currently in bed, where he had spent the best part of his morning. Not really sleeping or resting, and certainly not doing anything fun. Just... Lying there.  
>Still, it beat having to put up with his crazy family's antics. Though "crazy" wasn't the best word to use these days, everyone had mellowed down so much! Nothing ever happened around here anymore...<p>

Well, it was time to stop angsting and actually get something done, so Ranma got up, got changed and wondered downstairs to greet everybody.

Once he got down, he noticed that breakfast was more or less ready, with regards to Kasumi.

He didn't really feel hungry though, so he took the time to move over to Genma instead, the best person to go to when he wanted to complain about anything. Especially boredom.

Following up on this decision, he walked up to his 'beloved' father, who was currently drinking from an oversized goblet, gave a short little stretch, and then exclaimed, "Gee, it sure is BORING around here!"

Genma set down his goblet after a few more sips, and then turned towards his son to begin having a heart filled heart to heart talk with the future heir of his world renowned Anything-Goes martial arts fighting style, "Mah boi! This peace is what all true sexually confusing martial artists strive for!" he replied, with his index finger now pointed upwards awkwardly.

Ranma gave an exaggerated shrug of dismissal, "I just wander what Kuno's up to!"

After saying this, the doors suddenly burst open, and a young lady riding atop a magical carpet flew into the building. As the carpet descended, they could see clearly who had just suddenly barged into their dining room, and that person was Nabiki, now fully clad in a sort of magician's clothing, even though she has no talents or abilities that deal with magic whatsoever. Unless making people go bankrupt counts as magic.  
>After she regained her balance from the sudden stop of the carpet, she gave a little bow and then addressed Ranma's father, "Your Genmasty... Kuno and his minions have taken over the island of Furinkan!"<p>

Instead of questioning why the girl just burst in on his eating time by going all arabian nights on him, the middle-aged man scratched his chin in thought, "Hmm... How can we help?"

The girl shook her head before bringing out a large orange sheet of paper that was adorned in childish squiggles and a picture of a random fish, "It is written, only Ranma can defeat Kuno."

Being dumb, Ranma automatically accepted this as fact, "GREAT! I'll grab my stuff!"

"There is no time, your fanservice is enough." Interjected Nabiki, while making strange bowing gestures.

Ranma scratched his head in confusion, "But... For which gender?"

"BOTH OF THEM." Replied Nabiki, sternly.

Losing interest in the conversation, Ranma turned to his loving fiancée, Akane, and gave her a friendly nudge on the shoulder, "How about a kiss? For luck!"

Akane, being the friendly sport that she is, turned to the love of her life, and then gave him her most friendly reply yet, "FU*bleep*K OFF, YA PERV!"  
>Instead of cowering in fear and losing the ability to control his bowels, he just covered his face with one of his hands to stifle his laughter, because that was hilarious apparently.<p>

After about three seconds more of preparing, both Ranma and Nabiki buggered off on the magical carpet once more. Nabiki, being the playful girl that she is, could not help but yell out a whimsical ancient saying into the air to raise some spirits for the foreboding adventure that awaited them, "Squadala! Pay up!"

"Wha-?"

"500 rupees per ride, pay up or gtfo!"

After grumbling quite loudly, Ranma got out his trusty magic pouch of currency and shit, and then gave the greedy, tight-fisted girl a handful of his not very precious but still precious enough gems.

After flying around for a while, our hero soon spotted something in the distance, and decided to call it to Nabiki's attention, "Wow, what're all those heads?"

"These are the faces of evil. You must conquer each!" replied Nabiki, with all the knowledge and wisdom of a particularly bad ad libber.

"Well I guess I'd better get going!" replied Ranma, both feeling excited and dreading the large daunting task that lay ahead of him.

Before he could jump off the carpet and try to aim for a face, he was stopped by Nabiki, who decided to smother him with a massive map instead, "Here is the map! Where do you wish to go? By the way, you owe me money by using this."

And with that, now completely poor and filled with debt no thanks to the 'aid' of the blatantly cheap Nabiki, our hero Ranma set out to save his home from the evils of the nefarious Kuno.

}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{

Lol, it happened again. I am such a rascal!

Oh well, with Skyward Sword out next month, I guess it is kinda warranted. By the way, you guys looking forward to it as much as I am? I sure hope so! =P

Anyways, about the fic. This isn't over, though it probably won't be as large a project as my other pile of shite, Hotel Pikachu, though ya never know.  
>Certainly will be adding stuff to this though, so it's far from over. =P<p>

Also, my girlfriend will probably kill me for making this fic, so enjoy it while you still can!


	2. Dinner!

Akane groaned loudly. It was her one free day off of school, a day where there would be no study, no homework, and certainly no constant threat of molestation, rape, and being insistently tapped on the shoulder from every boy and... probably girl at this point too, and she was being asked to stop her relaxation time just to come down and do a big favour for her morbidly obese father in-law! Akane groaned even louder. So much louder in fact that she managed to smash a window nearby and cause Hotel Pikachu's version of Buneary's head to explode, despite the fact that she was several miles away right now.

It was a pity too. She was this close to finishing off her martial arts training session that consisted of waiting until Ranma needed a bath, pretending to accidentally walk in on him while naked, and then calling him a pervert afterwards...

Oh well, she'd have time to do that later. For now, she was needed, and quite urgently too, if her father in-law's cries for attention was anything to go by.

It was a shame she was in such a rush though, for she really wanted to change out of her martial arts outfit that she had donned for her exhausting work out of waiting by the door for several hours.

Again, oh well. She had her priorities, and changing was not one of them. Besides, in her current get-up, she figured that she looked like quite the badass anyway, so she couldn't complain really.

In no time at all, she made her way over to the room that everyone usually eats in, with the elegant Kotatsu table carved from the most finest of maple wood placed delicately in the middle of the room, and... the glass door thingymabob.

Eating on the before mentioned table of eating was her father in-law, Genma, her beloved fiancé, Ranma, her older sister who I mistook as Akane's mum the first time I watched the show, Kasumi, and a bunch of other buggers who won't have any speaking lines whatsoever.

As Akane approached the table that was clearly designed to spite long legged people such as myself, Genma rose from the furniture and faced her daughter in-law. Greeting her with a nod, he began to tell her about his predicament, "MAH GAL! I'm-" Genma suddenly stopped speaking in order to give her a quizzical look-over, "Umm, why aren't you wearing anything?"

Now it was Akane's turn to look confused, "...What are you talking about?"

"Well, MAH GAL... You're totally in the buff."

"OH BOI!" Yelled Ranma, despite being the most celibate person in existence.

Akane looked down at her nak- ...oh god, I'd better be careful with this descriptive writing before Fanfic dot net's moderators try to take me away again. Umm...

Akane looked down at her 'martial arts costume' and shrugged, "So? You wear your Anything goes martial arts outfit all the time, and I just want to wear my Wrath of the HENTAI fist technique clothing for a change. What's the big deal?"

Genma stared blankly at his daughter in-law as if she'd asked the most stupid question on the planet, "Well, the reviewers will probably complain that you're completely out of character and..."  
>Akane's continued look of confusion told him that she wasn't quite taking it in. He gave a defeated sigh, "Oh, whatever... Now anyway, where was I...? Oh yes!"<p>

Genma took a second to clear his throat, "Akane! Duke Soun is under attack by the evil forces of Kuno! I'm going to China to aid him." The camera zoomed in on him as he spoke until it was uncomfortably close to his face.

Upon hearing the news, Akane became absolutely horrified, "But father (in-law), what if something happens to you?"

"I'll take the Shampoo of courage to protect me!" the camera zoomed out again as he held a pink cat in front of him, "If you don't hear from me in a month, send Ranma." The camera went right up his arse again, seriously, what the hell is up with that thing?

Desperate to find someone to back her up, she gave a pleading look to her surprisingly slightly older sister, "Kasumi!"

"Don't worry Akane. The P-Chan of wisdom promises that the Genma will safely return." Said Kasumi, as she held up a glowing pig and shoved it into her sister's face. As she did so, moving pictures formed on the underside of the pig's stomach, showing a future image of Genma stepping off of a small wooden raft, with not a bruise, scratch or anything painful looking to his name. Seeing this gave Akane a little bit of relief.

...That is until lightning came out of nowhere and zapped Genma to buggery. Seeing this, Kasumi quickly hid the pig behind her back and whistled innocently.

The present Genma held up his hand to silence everyone, "Enough! My poorly constructed raft sails in the morning. I wonder what's for DINNER?" He then swished his arm through the air in front of him, as ya do.

"OH BOY! I'm so hungry, I could eat Akane's food!"

Akane's face flared up in anger at Ranma's implied insult, "Hey! Damn straight you're gonna eat my food! Oh, and speaking of which..." Akane pulled some food from... hammerspace, I'm hoping, and then forced it into his arms, "That's what's for dinner!"

"...For-uck!"

As this pointless exchange went on, an old man that no fecker likes walked in. As he saw Akane, his mouth flew open and he dropped his bag of stolen bras, panties and signed copies of Hello Kitty DVDs, "...Oh my god, Akane, put some fu*Bleep*ing clothes on! Ughh, this is supposed to be a child friendly series, for Hell's sake!" as he said this, he tried to cover his eyes, but to no avail, as the image of Akane's nake- 'martial artist's costume' was now burned into his retina.

In fact, the image was burned into his retina so much that it literally caused his face to melt off, thus ensuring him a death that was as slow and painful as possible.

Can you tell that I don't like this character yet? Because I think I'm being a little too subtle, honestly.

Akane stomped her foot in anger, "Hmph, why of all the... Just _**what**_ does everyone have against my costume today? Jeez..."

* * *

><p><strong>*One month later*<strong>

* * *

><p>Akane paced up and down the dinner room (while wearing some proper clothes now, thankfully). Man, she had never felt so worried in her life!<p>

Genma left exactly one month ago from now, and he still hadn't returned...

"A whole month gone, and still no word..." Akane said to no one in particular while doing some bizarre hand gestures.

Kasumi walked over to Akane's side and put her amazingly humongous bear-hand over Akane's head, in an attempt to comfort her, "I'm certain he's alright!"

They both looked over to Ranma, who was desperately trying to hide his party banner that said "Ding dong, the witch is dead!" from them, "Y-yeah! That ol' Kuno's no match for the Genma!"

Remembering her father in-law's words, Akane suddenly devised a plan to ensure Genma's safety, "Ranma, go to China, and find my father."

"Aww man, really?" Akane gave the boy a long hard glare, "...Err, great! I can't wait to cross-dress!"

"That's bette- what."

* * *

><p><strong>*Even later*<strong>

* * *

><p>Akane simply could not sleep. It had been thirteen years since the last time she had seen any member of her family other than her older older sister, and it was starting to drive her insane!<p>

She twisted, turned, wrestled with her covers, did some gymnastics and even ate her own cooking in an attempt to knock herself out, but no matter what she did, it was no use. Sleep would not come for her.

After an hour of this, Akane decided that enough was enough. She'd had it with these motherfugging Kuno minions on this motherfugging fic.

Making her way around the house, all while making sure not to trip over anything in the dark, she finally made her way over to Kasumi's room.

Instead of knocking politely or waiting until sunrise, when Kasumi was most likely to be awake, she instead decided to barge into her room and shake her awake. "Wake up Kasumi... we're going to China."

"All right dear. I'll get the P-Chan of wisdom." Kasumi replied while yawning, apparently not startled in the least by Akane's intrusion or decision to force her into risking her life on such a perilous journey.

Afterwards, the sun instantly shone once again, and they both sailed across the ocean in their Titanic-sized boat, with only one destination on their mind. China.

...And Dr. Tofu's house, which ceased to exist after they rammed their boat into it accidentally.

...Without water.

}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{

Alright, now I'll bet you're all completely confused as to why I'm making a chapter based on Wand of Gamelon instead of continuing the Faces of Evil shiz from the last chappie.

Well, why not? That's my answer. XP

Seriously though, I'll probably be going back and forth between the two of 'em as I feel like it. Don't worry though, I'll let ya know which story arc is which, so no need to fret. XP

Oh, and one more thing. This chapter may seem a little shaky in parts to some of ya, but I'll be honest, this chapter was created on a whim after being dared to stop being a lazy arse and upload something before Tuesday (today).

I'm kind of a little late, seeing as it is now currently four hours into Tuesday, but oh well, I hope you all enjoy this anyway~ =P

Ah well, in any case. Thanks for reading, you guys! Catch ya later! n.n


End file.
